Welcome to the 2015 BDSM Writers Conference - Live from New York City!

The anticipation for the 2015 BDSM Writers Con had been growing as we all kept in touch via a Conference Facebook page, and on August 19, the festivities began with an Author Meet & Greet & Buddy Up cocktail hour at the suite where founder, Dr. Charley Ferrer, held court.

Having attended the 2103 BDSM Writers Workshop (from which Dr. Charley created the inaugural Conference in 2014), I was thrilled to see some old faces, like Rose, and Karla and Jenny of Exquisite Reviews. And finally got to meet in the flesh some of my new soon-to-be-fast friends from the FB group, with whom I’d been corresponding.

We had a few drinks, did a round-robin introduction that included the who’s and what’s of our writing sides, that had us howling and, as the newbies quickly discovered, hilarity was to be the overall mood for the entire Con. That night we kicked it off and ended up laughing like hyenas.

See, that’s the irony of the BDSM Con, where discussions of flogging, knife play, bondage; safe, sane and consensual Sado-masochism and Dominance and submission are the norm – everyone hugs hard, and laughs harder. It’s a wonderfully giving and supportive environment, and above all, crazy enthusiastic about the lifestyle, and the erotic writings that seek to portray it.

Because that was the original impetus for Dr. Charley’s master plan (pun intended). She wanted to offer an opportunity to writers of erotica and erotic romance to get it right. To understand the nuance of BDSM, the play, the protocols and the dynamics. And most importantly the people who live the lifestyle in all their marvelous diversity. Getting it wrong like “that” book, has riled up lots of community members and I, for once, was thrilled to have the chance to learn, as well as to experience some things that allowed me to gain a greater understanding, from a personal perspective.

One of my personal pet peeves is the failure of authors of BDSM erotic romance to get it right, psychology-wise. I want to understand why the characters want what they want and if there’s no understanding, I feel cheated.

By opening it up in 2014 as both a writer and reader event, Dr. Charley allowed interested fans of the genre to experience the real thing, too. To come, and explore and at club nights, play. Hearty volunteers got to be demonstrated on, and a grand time was had by all (or so I’m told – sadly, I am forced to commute to the events and cannot party til all hours!). But even the simplest of experiences can reveal startling details about many facets of BDSM.

Even being told to kneel before someone can illuminate your view of what power exchange can entail!

This first evening was a rousing intro to what was to come. A fact-and-fun-filled three days of immersion into “the Lifestyle” of BDSM. Which included a wonderful vendor shop, and great swag.

So after that first gathering, I arrived the next morning, on Thursday, to see what I could see.

Come back tomorrow for another glimpse into the awesome Conference when I chat about the Opening Ceremony, with Dr. Charley and Keynote Speaker, author and advocate, Cecilia Tan.

Trust me. You will not want to miss it!

Interested in BDSM as a writer or reader? You, too, have a chance to find out for yourself just how intriguing the subject is. BDSM Writers Conference 2016 will be adding a second venue event in addition to the NYC Conference, in Everett, Washington. Check out the site and see for yourselves (just click on the "Golden Flogger" Award badge)! Just remember – bring some dungeon-wear, and leave your inhibitions at home!

Spank You Very Much!

The masochistic heroine is tough enough to write. Delight in pain, for the endorphin “sub space” glow, or to please her Dom, can be difficult to write convincingly and sympathetically. She needs to be strong of spirit and true of heart and to meld that with submissive desires can be tricky.

But even harder? Crafting the romantic, loving, sympathetic sadist hero.

He’s the possessive guy who cherishes his lady, nut also loves inflicting pain on her. That it is “erotic pain” helps differentiate him from the sadistic villain, but in order to capture the reader’s heart, this hero must be perfectly drawn.

The author crafting such a character walks a fine line, allowing him to indulge his carnal appetites on the willing heroine’s flesh, yet be strong, loyal, loving and tender, by turns. If you don’t want to end up with a kinky Dr. Jekyll/Mr Hyde scenario, you need an exploration and deft explanation of his desires, plus exposing just how awesome it feels when the heroine is swept into the maelstrom of “pleasure/pain” (as it’s often referred to these days in BDSM erotic romances).

And on top of the issue of doling out pain, I’ve noticed of late a new and darker flavor being added to the S&M romances already being done so masterfully, and that is erotic humiliation.

Having a hero call his loving heroine a “slut”, or putting her in a position to be exposed in a position of humiliation as an aspect of the “play” – or punishment, can be a high wire act. The readers who get it are already on board (I’m one of them). But names like “slut” or edgier, and humiliation play, that can be interpreted by some in a derogatory way (as has happened in recent years when critical public statements have led to the term “slut shaming”) can be startling at best to the unwary reader, and offensive at worst.

So this is yet another element of a razor sharp sub-genre whose potential is great for the most swoon-worthy uber-alpha sadistic Dom character to ever singe the pages; but if ineffectively done, for the most cringe-worthy misogynist douche bag to ever come down the pike.

Still, edgy romance of this sort is an “eye of the beholder” thing and full-disclosure is always your best bet when talking about a character. And read, study, and craft your raw romance hero with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel.

Examples of some authors who have beautifully mastered the art of the loving sadist? Maya Banks in her “Sweet” series, Roni Loren’s “Loving On the Edge” series and Eden Bradley/Eve Berlin’s “Edge” series.

I love writing edgy, kinky heroes who love masochistic heroines beneath their hands. Of my short story "My Master's Mark" under my erotica pseudonym, Lydia Hill, [Cleis Press’ May 2014 Slave Girls: Erotic Stories of Submission], Library Journal’s starred review said “surprisingly poignant”. For free, naughty reads stop by my Lust In the Afternoon blog, http://blackrosediaries.blogspot.com/