Thursday, September 3, 2015

2015 BDSM Writers Conference - Day One: And Away We Go – The Kinky Adventure Begins!



The first moments of a writers’ conference are always great fun. You get that jolt of energy as you are walking in, knowing you’ll be immersed in your chosen world of writing and publishing. And the BDSM Writers Conference offers that along with the special spirit that comes with being part of a vital group of individuals sharing like minds on the subject.

I marched upstairs to the cordoned off section for the event only to encounter two ladies I’d met at the 2013 BDSM Writers Workshop event, which was the perfect kick-off. After getting my goodie bag, badge and all-important wrist band (it was a must to get into the Saturday Powders play party), who should I spot but my dear friend, and editor, F. Leonora Solomon. We were soon joined by agent and publisher extraordinaire, Lori Perkins, of Riverside Avenue Books, and host of the Between the Covers monthly erotica reading series in NYC and we caught up (writing, life, and kinky stuff) before settling in Metro 1 for the rousing opening ceremony where we debated which workshops and panels to go too while the room filled with authors, lifestyle practitioners, and readers who love what we write.

Dr. Charley Ferrer spoke movingly about being the “different” daughter in her family. Now an internationally recognized sex therapist and BDSM advocate, her beginnings as a young girl who had different desires struck a chord in me, and I’d guess every other attendee as well.

When was the first time you wondered?

Living an alternative lifestyle is something not just kinky people attending the Con could identify with. As a romance author, I suffer the periodic slings and arrows of having my genre called “trashy” and belittled by the literary community at large, and society in general. And as an author of BDSM erotic romance, even my own romance community includes many who denigrate my sub-genre as something that’s not real romance, but porn in disguise. To be ostracized by my brethren is disheartening, as we who write erotic romance, and BDSM romance in particular, believe whole-heartedly that our romance is just as valid, and powerful, because of the inclusion of intensely sexual characters, which we weave seamlessly with the emotional relationships as we tell our stories. So while at larger, general conferences I might feel a bit shunned, at the BDSM Con I was in my element, with a marvelous group of folks who understand just how magical the marriage of kink and romance can be.

Long before the public’s eyes were opened wide to the kinky world via the wildfire popularity of Fifty, there were massively talented authors writing BDSM romance, including many lifestylers. These romances kept to the tried and true tropes of romance so beloved by readers, but ingeniously clothed in the psychology, emotions and sexuality of BDSM.

Doms and subs are merely romance heroes and heroines taken to new heights. Sexuality is not merely an adjunct to these romances. In kinky love stories, the sexuality drives both the characters and the romance. Protagonists’ desires are what bind them together (pun intended) while providing the opportunity to portray deep conflicts, which give these novels their carnal heart and soul.

Understanding the dynamics and accurately portraying our characters with intense humanity, coupled with edgy desires, is the whole purpose of the Conference. To ensure we, as authors, deliver the best romances we can write; stories that bring this lifestyle to life in all its edgy realism, within the classic form of a romance novel.

With Dr. Charley’s inspiring words to start us off, we were then treated to a terrific talk by our Keynote speaker, erotica author, and BDSM activist, Cecilia Tan.

Her advice was to be just the first gem of the Conference. So stop by tomorrow, when I talk more about this author’s insight in to the genre of BDSM fiction, and my musings on this marvelous genre and the world of kinky creativity.

1 comment:

  1. Lise,

    What a great point you've made about the way BDSM romances are portrayed--the red-headed step-child no one wants to discuss. Yet as you've heard me mention once or twice, everyone has practiced some form of Dominance and submission in their life. Don't think so? What about the hickies? Or the rings on your finger? Or purposely picking a fight with your partner so you can have "angry--passionate--make-up sex"? Smiles. It's all a matter of semantics in the end. Still not sure, join us for BDSM Writers Con in NYC or Everett and find out for sure.

    I look forward to see you there again, Lise. And I'm patiently waiting for September 15 when your book, Hold Tight comes out. smiles.

    Live with passion,

    Dr. Charley Ferrer
    Host & Founder
    BDSM Writers Con

    ReplyDelete