SYNCOPATED RHYTHM: The Dance of Dom and sub

“This is like a kinky duet, my friend. You can’t do it alone and expect it to be smooth, or pretty.” Ben Sterling, HOLD TIGHT, 9-15-15 from Loose Id


Our second round of workshops on the first day of the BDSM Writers Conference was another opportunity to sit at the feet of Cecilia Tan and wallow in her greatness. Her “Doms Are From Mars and Subs Are From Venus” covered such rich ground as we delved into the supremely important aspects of a relationship between a Dom and a sub, that I’m still foraging for nuggets of writing gold in my notes.

As so often can happen with any relationship, miscommunication can lead to huge conflict. Add to this D/s play, and power exchange, and raw sexual action, and you have the recipe for wonderfully rich conflict and plot elements for BDSM erotic romance. This kind of conflict can heat up your characters, and your story, exponentially, helping to drive the blend of kink and romance that must be woven tightly and seamlessly to ensure riveting characters and a gripping story.

Trust. Truthful communication. Expectation. Kink. Love. Jealousy. Mistaken cues. Overlooked clues. These all become a recipe for a romance. Or a recipe for disaster. And what better way to torment your characters than to thrust them into a disaster!

I know there were other authors there who took note of a keen insight Cecilia had made while researching. A large majority of submissives would rather suffer bodily harm than disappoint their Dom. Startling, until you think about the power of the relationship in question. And then it is far more understandable. And shows just how difficult it can be to navigate a relationship in this world. Where even a safe word unspoken can rock that world.

As an author, using these realities of human experience and psychology allow me to create fallible characters.

Because, after all, who wants perfect on page 1? We want to see the characters in all their troubled, tangled, confused humanity. We want to watch them be forced to face their foibles, overcome obstacles. We want to cheer them on as they learn, and grow, acknowledge hard truths, embrace those truths and grow to become a better, freer person at the end of their journey. A person who can embrace the love that they thought they didn’t deserve, or couldn’t have. Characters who finally – FINALLY! - accept themselves in all their kinky glory, and find the right person to share their life with. Happily ever after!

Cecilia Tan’s presentation added a wealth to my library of information to work with when creating my characters. Wonderfully, too, she confirmed the legitimacy of my heroine, Eden Grant, in my forthcoming BDSM erotic romance (HOLD TIGHT, 9-15-15, Loose Id Publishing), whose mistake during a scene instigates a major hurdle that she and Hud Crockett, her Dom, will have to overcome.

No human is perfect. No Dom is always right. No sub always behaves. Scenes can go wrong. Mistakes can be made. People can mess up. And in our stories, perfection isn’t where the fun is. Conflict is our meal, and angst and drama are the spices that flavor our tales of lust and love.

Bottom line, screwing with our characters heads and hearts is where it’s at. Because it’s so awesome when they figure it out!

Yes. I’m that twisted! Aren’t we all? Come on. Admit it.

How is BDSM Like Writing? Cecilia Tan at BDSM Writers Con

To a writer of fiction, the word “scene” means one thing. But as we writers of kinky romance know, in a BDSM story, “scene” has a whole other meaning.

In her wonderful presentation, Cecilia Tan, author of numerous BDSM erotic romances, showed us the parallels between the elements of a good BDSM scene, and a successful BDSM romance.

First, she shared her belief that we, as author, are the Dominant or Top and our readers are the submissives or bottoms. For one, our readers give us the power over them. The power to seduce and entertain them with our tales. There must be trust between an author and her readers. They trust us to give good story. To bring our worlds alive. To pen stories with heat and heart. Stories with characters who come alive on the page. To give them romances to feed their readers’ passion.

We begin our “scene” by negotiating with our readers. Our beginnings lay out our world and the cast of characters and foretell of the intense action to come. When we seduce them successfully, they give over their trust to us. They agree to journey with us all the way to “The End”. From the first moments of action and attraction, to the “aftercare” - where we soothe our readers who have allowed our torments. Tales rife with conflict, sizzling sexual adventure, climactic action and a breathtaking resolution for our lovers. We help our readers come down from our carefully doled out pleasure/pain, to bask in the afterglow of our literary “scene” - the kinky ever after for our literary lovers.

It is mutual consent. A power exchange. Promises made, and fulfilled. We agree to write the very best BDSM erotic romance we can, and our readers submit to us, trusting that promise of satisfaction. I torture my readers as I do my characters – putting them through hell, but promising them a kinky heaven of satisfaction.

As their “Dom”, my satisfaction comes from knowing I have seduced and entertained for a while.

My readers are rewarded with my arousing stories of lust, longing and happily ever after. Being bound up in a story of romance and passion. One with orgasmic highs and heart-stopping lows. Like a masochist, they ride my rollercoaster of emotion and sex. Like a Sadist, I apply the writer’s lash with flair and accuracy to wring the perfect response from my loyal readers. Sighs. Moans. Cries of “please, may I have some more?”

It is a true relationship between author and audience. As in a D/s scene, it is reaching that mutually satisfying climax after our readers have consented to be ours. Even for that little while.

Now, let me ask you dear reader. How do you take your kink?

Here's a brief taste of how Eden Grant and Hud Crockett, the lovers in my forthcoming BDSM erotic romance, HOLD TIGHT, take theirs:

“Look at that. I’ve marked you.” The indentation of his teeth marred the soft flesh. It made him nearly mad with possessive power. She looked surprised, but not fearful. “Shall I stop? Tell me you don’t want to push this envelope. I’m all about pleasure and pain. I want to feel your flesh beneath my hands. I want to watch your ass turn red while you beg me to stop spanking you. I’ll make you come like you never have. It will be a wild ride, and you’ll love it. I’m a true sadist, and I want you to walk through that fire with me. But it’s all about consent. Yours.”

“I didn’t expect this.”

“Be honest. You didn’t know what to expect. I will lead you, but nothing happens without your consent. Good?” She smelled incredible. Like sex. A spicy perfume, that aroma of feminine arousal. She was responding, but how far could he push? “Can you let go, Eden? Give yourself to me? There’ll be nothing you don’t want.”

Her eyes were wide. Beneath his hands, against his chest, her body quivered. Excitement. Fear of the unknown.


Releasing from Loose Id
September 15, 2015